Make it Hot
by RitzBitz
Summary: UPDATED! Mulder gets in trouble when he appears on the cover of a conspiracy magazine. Scully has a little fun with him. Please read and review!
1. Default Chapter

**_DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, just the story._**

**_SUMMARY: Mulder gets in trouble after he appears on the cover of a conspiracy magazine. Set after Season 7's "all things."_**

"Agent Mulder, what the hell is this?" Assistant Director Skinner threw down the magazine with Mulder's face plastered all over the front of it. He was having a hard time remaining serious.

"Oh, my God....," Mulder trailed off as he lowered his face to his hands, shaking his head.

"Sir, Agent Mulder was recently the unwitting subject of an interview that he did not know was an interview," Scully, always Mulder's savior, said as she took the magazine in her hands. "He was speaking online daily with an individual who identified herself only as 'ConspiracyChick'." She raised her eyebrows in a sympathetic gesture. "Needless to say, this, uh.... is the result." She looked down at the magazine as she grimaced. It was the cover of Conspiracy Monthly that featured one "Fox Mulder: the FBI's Sexiest G-Man!"

Skinner seemed to see the title of the article at the same time and fought back a smile before he spoke again. "Agent Mulder, I don't think I need to tell you how this could affect the Bureau's image in the minds of the public. Not that many people read....," he checked the title, "Conspiracy Monthly. And I don't think I need to tell you that Deputy Director Kirsch is so not happy."

"Sir, I don't know what to tell you. I-I.... I had no way of knowing she would send our conversations into this- this magazine," he spat. He shuddered as he saw the cover again. "Oh, God...."

"Unfortunately, Mulder, this is out of my hands. Kirsch wants to make an example of you."

"What else is new?" Mulder spat, then looked apologetically at Skinner. "Sorry, sir."

"You're formally being asked to take three weeks unpaid leave, affective immediately." He put his hand in the air to stop Mulder's objections. "Now, I managed to get it to three weeks paid leave, but your ass is in trouble, Mulder."

Mulder looked over at Scully. She knitted her brow with a sympathetic look. "I can't believe this is happening. This is like my worst nightmare times Richard Simmons." He sighed. "Anything else?"

"No, but you had better be thanking your lucky stars, Mulder. This could have been a hell of a lot worse."

It was Scully who spoke up this time. "I'm sure that Agent Mulder is very appreciative of your efforts, sir. Is there anything else?"

Skinner waved dismissively, and both Scully and Mulder made their way out of the office and back to their basement. As the door shut, Skinner couldn't help but chuckle. "You know, Mulder, this isn't as bad as you think it is."

"Scully, are you kidding me?" He fumbled with the pages as he flipped to the article and read, "'His name should be Special Agent Foxy Mulder?' How is that not bad?" He was having a hard time ignoring the giggles and mutterings of the agents in the elevator. Finally it opened onto the basement level.

"Well, think about this. Now you'll have time off for all of those meetings with your fans." She gave Mulder one of her rare laughs. "Try to look at the bright side," she said with a smile.

There was something in Mulder that wanted to make her feel as miserable as the he did, but he simply shook his head at the thought. This situation was worth Scully's smiling face. "What the hell am I supposed to do for three weeks? I-I should be out there" he gestured to the window as he put one foot on the chair, looking all the world like the hero of some movie "searching for the truth, discovering the secrets that upper levels of the government conceal everyday, and-and...."

"Fighting the good fight? Look, Mulder, Churchill speeches aside, I think this is a good time for you to take some much needed vacation. You know, go relax some where. Take a trip." She frowned. "Wait, what am saying? I should be the one taking a vacation."

Mulder ignored her last comment. "I take trips, Scully. Just last week I took that trip to England. Granted, that was to witness first-hand the making of crop circles by UFOs, and nothing happened, but, it was still a trip. And besides, you saw that sweet hat I brought back. 'Stonehenge Rocks,' Scully."

"You need something to get your mind off work, Mulder, you spend way too much time here anyway." He was almost touched by her concern. Almost, but not enough to make him take this moment completely serious.

"Well Sister Spooky," he said, sashaying over to where she sat perched on the corner of his desk. "I can think of a few things that would take my mind off of work." He put his arms around her waist and grinned, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "Some things at which you uh, yourself showed me how good you were." He licked his lips and grinned at her again.

Scully raised an eyebrow and managed to keep the flush she felt at the mention of their night together off her face and neck. She brought her lips up to his ear and whispered silkily, "Fox...we're standing in the basement of the Washington headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

He let her go and laughed. "Jeez, Scully, you really know how to turn a guy on." He stepped back some from the desk, still grinning.

"Well, regardless, you still need time off. Hey, maybe you could uh, do another magazine interview during the next three weeks." She tried her best to keep a straight face and failed.

"You know, Scully, I expected something like that from Skinner maybe, but coming from you...." he put a hand over his heart "that just plain hurts." He shook his head slowly in an attempt to hide the laughter in his eyes.

This time it was Scully's turn to ignore his comment. She had picked up Conspiracy Monthly and was flipping through the pages. "I mean, come on. How much better do you get than 'brilliant conspiracy mind who, as it turns out, is not a bad piece of ass either.'" She looked up into his face as he scoffed and shook his head again. "I mean, at least they're not calling you 'Spooky Mulder'. That's worth something, right?"

Mulder pursed his lips and nodded. "Mm-hmm, so let's do an interview right now, set the record straight for G-Woman Tribune. You, Special Agent Dana Scully, as interviewer, how would you describe me for the magazine?"

She thought for a moment then said, "Well, let's see...." She stood up and began pacing the office slowly. "Intelligent, stubborn, a little bachelor- esque at times with the apartment..." She trailed off at his protesting cry, and smiled at him.

"Come on, Scully, that's no fair." He smiled back at her, but his smile faltered as hers became sexy and intense. He glanced to the side and backed up as she advanced on him, until he reached the wall with Scully getting ever-closer.

"Well, Agent Mulder," she began in a sultry whisper. "I would have to describe you as 'the FBI's sexiest G-Man' who, as it turns out, is not a bad piece of ass." She was pressing her body against his as she softly ground her hip into his groin. "Not to mention quite the philanthropist in bed." Scully bit his lower lip playfully, then abruptly tore herself away from him, heading out of the office.

It took Mulder a second to clear his throat, but he managed to get out, "Sc- Scully!" He looked down at his lap. "Aw, come on, that is so not fair!"

Scully was already in the elevator when she answered, "Told ya I could turn you on, Foxy." The doors slid shut.

Mulder was left alone, shaking his head. "Great. She is _so_ in trouble."

**_Review!! I might continue this, might not._**


	2. 2 Sorry its short!

**_ Disclaimer: see previous chapter._**

**__**

**_A/N: I'm really sorry about how short this is! I've been super busy, but I'll try to update soon!_**

It had been more than a week since Special Agent Fox Mulder had been politely asked to take some time off for his not-so-subtle "interview" on the cover of Conspiracy Monthly. The first thing he had done was called the editor in chief of the magazine and bitched at her. All he had gotten for his troubles was a year's subscription free. And a hat. Yay.

To top it all off, the Lone Gunmen had come to his apartment to make fun of him in person, having just gotten their hands on a copy of the magazine. It was bad enough that Scully had laughed at him, but now his three "best friends" were, too.

_I'm gonna write a book_, Mulder thought to himself. _It'll be called, "How My Life is Like a Bowl Full o' Shit."_

So, after his ego had been re-inflated (somewhat) by kicking Frohike's ass in the latest nondescript male-oriented video game, Mulder felt like it was time to be alone, to lick his wounds and maybe online-kick ConspiracyChick's ass. He shook his head and turned on the computer. After a few moments, he was online, searching the chat rooms for his unknown interviewer.

_Aha! There she is_. He typed:  
  
SpookyDoo1013: Thanx a lot  
  
The cursor blinked in place for a moment until she replied:  
  
ConspiracyChick23: Oh? 4 wat?  
  
SpookyDoo1013: u no wat  
  
ConspiracyChick23: u don't mean ur little magazine fame?  
  
SpookyDoo1013: bingo! what the hell, u didn't ask my permission, isn't that illegal?  
  
ConspiracyChick23: i thought u would like it  
  
SpookyDoo1013: u got me in trouble at work, im suspended  
  
ConspiracyChick23: o....sorry, i really didn't think u'd get in trouble, my bad  
  
SpookyDoo1013: ur dam right, ur bad.... whered u even get my pic?  
  
ConspiracyChick23: internet, where else  
  
SpookyDoo1013: Look, I g2g, so don't look for me anymore, k?  
  
ConspiracyChick23: plez don't be pissed off, im really sorry  
  
SpookyDoo1013: w/e...see u around

He exited the chat room, but wasn't completely ready to sign off of the internet quite yet. One room in particular was interesting him, so he clicked on the link for "Working Professionals." He was thrown into the middle of a conversation between "VetsRUs", "Love2Dive", "avidreader", and countless others, coming and going through the revolving door that was a chat room. Mulder threw out there:

SpookyDoo1013: wat's up, docs? what's everybody do?

No one answered him, for they were debating politics and religion, two of Mulder's very favorite subjects. He had just about given up when a new message appeared on the screen. It read:

BeyondDSea1122: u seem lonely  
  
He laughed, and replied:  
  
SpookyDoo1013: u go tht right  
  
BeyondDSea1122: I work for the gov't... u?  
  
SpookyDoo1013: me 2! federal or state?  
  
BeyondDSea1122: feds  
  
SpookyDoo1013: same! thats crazy! u like ur job?  
  
BeyondDSea1122: r u kidding? the hours suck, the work is hard, and the pay couldnt be better... whats not to love?  
  
SpookyDoo1013: I couldnt agree more. Where do u work?  
  
Just then, there was a knock on the door.  
  
SpookyDoo1013: Crap, I g2g.... will I see u here again some time?  
  
BeyondDSea1122: Sure. Tomorrow night, same time, k?  
  
SpookyDoo1013: great, c u!  
  
He signed off and got up to answer the door. It was his landlord. "Super," he whispered. He opened the door and dealt with his nemesis.  
  
**_SORRY, I KNOW ITS SHORT, I'LL UPDATE SOON, I PROMISE! PLEASE REVIEW!!!_**


	3. 3 love u guys!

**_A/N: Okay, so if you've ever read anything I've done, you'll know that I am incredibly influenced by music. I mean seriously, look at the titles of my stories. Okay, so I was listening to Randy Travis (the ONLY country music star I actually like, apart from Mary Chapin Carpenter) and this chapter appeared in my head. Bear with me! The song is called "Too Gone Too Long."  
  
RATING: Some language ahead, so look out!_**

**__**  
  
A few days later, Mulder sat on his couch, once again contemplating the meaning of his life. _Fuck it_, he thought. _I don't have a life_. He glanced at the television set, wondering if 11:34 on a Sunday morning was too early for the porn channel to be in full swing. Over the past few days, he had talked to his new friend online every night. It was a breath of fresh air to talk to someone who wasn't interested in cyber sex or something odd like that. He didn't know if "BeyondDSea1122" was even a man or a woman, for they had never even exchanged names. They had only talked about work or hobbies. Nonetheless, it was nice to have someone to talk to. 

A knock on the door brought him out of his reverie, and Mulder sighed in relief. He had never been so bored in all of his life. Including that time he went and saw Billy Ray Cyrus in concert. "Who is it?" he called, hoping he knew who it was.

"Mulder, it's me." Ah, that was what he wanted to hear.

"Come on in, it's unlocked." He so did not feel like getting up. He smiled as she entered his home, every hair in place, and her eyes shining. There was no question in his mind: she was beautiful. "Howdy, partner. How's life treatin' ya?"

"Mulder, have you been listening to country music again?" Scully smiled at him. "Let me guess... Garth Brooks." She plopped down on the couch next to him.

He shook his head, wondering again how she knew him so well. "Randy, sweetheart." She looked at him, as if questioning what he had meant by that. "Randy Travis. He's my man." She nodded.

"Scully?"

"Hmm?"

"May I serenade you?"

"Absolutely not."

He nodded, and then burst into song. "_You've been too gone, for too long! It's too late to come back now!_"

Scully, laughing, reached over and put her hand on his mouth. "Please, Mulder, there's only so much I can take." She smiled at him.

He grinned back. "So, to what do I owe this extreme pleasure?"

"Well, Mulder, it appears you aren't the only one who has to take some time off. When Skinner realized that you were calling me everyday at work to give me some piece of information or whatever, he told me it would be in my best interest to join you. So, I thought we could start the week getting a late breakfast or early lunch. What do you think?"

"Yeeee-haw! Let's go, G-Woman, I'm starving." Mulder stood and extended his hand to her, which she took as she stood up. "So, where to?"

* * *

That night, Mulder eagerly sat down at his computer, rubbing his hands. It was 10:00, which was the understood meeting time of he and his online friend. He had decided to ask name and gender tonight, simply because he was curious. The day had gone very well, something that was alien to him. He and Scully had spent the whole day on the town, eating brunch and enjoying the sun at the park. He had even insisted that she sit on the swings so he could push her. All in all, it was a wonderful experience. But there was something that Scully wasn't willing to do with him: talk about their relationship. They had taken the next step by sleeping together, but both of them had silently decided that it had only confirmed how much they belonged together. There had been no giant epiphany, just a quiet confirmation. In fact, Mulder had thought that there was no need to talk about what happened, not because it was awkward, but because it hadn't changed anything. But now, he wasn't sure how he was feeling. His day with Scully had seemed so normal, like they were just two people who happened to be in love, taking in the city. He wanted more days like them.

The pinging sound of an instant message tore his attention away from his thoughts and brought him back to the present.

**BeyondDSea1122**: Long day?

**SpookyDoo1013**: howd u know?

**BeyondDSea1122**: intuition. There r some things I want to know

**SpookyDoo1013**: like...

**BeyondDSea1122**: whats ur name?

**SpookyDoo1013**: I was gonna ask the same thing... my names (He paused, not sure what he should tell her. 'Fox' sounded so fake.) Will. U?

**BeyondDSea1122**: Katherine

**SpookyDoo1013**: that's a pretty name

**BeyondDSea1122**: thanks, so y was ur day bad?

**SpookyDoo1013**: o, not bad, I just have some things on my mind

**BeyondDSea1122**: like wat?

**SpookyDoo1013**: this woman... im pretty sure im in love with her, but she doesn't want to go there

**BeyondDSea1122**: well, I think its fate that we met, cuz im havin the same problem, except with a guy

**SpookyDoo1013**: wel, maybe u can give me some advice... we've been friends for years, so I don't want her to think im just being a friend to her when I take her out, u know?

**BeyondDSea1122**: yeah,, id say 1 thing: woo her. Theres no way she can mistake ur intentions whrn u r very clear about them

**SpookyDoo1013**: i c wat u mean.... For u: I would talk to the guy, u'd be surprised how much we actually want to talk about things tha mean a lot to us

**BeyondDSea1122**: hmmm, ill keep that in mind {yawn}

**SpookyDoo1013**: haha, tired or bored?

**BeyondDSea1122**: tired, unbelievably so... u mind if we call it a night?

**SpookyDoo1013**: of course not, thanx so much for ur advice

**BeyondDSea1122**: and thank u... talk to you tomorrow?

**SpookyDoo1013**: wouldn't miss i.... toodles

He signed off, satisfied. Tomorrow was going to be _very_ interesting.

**_This one's short too, I know, im so busy!!! PLEASE REVIEW, I LOVE REVIEWS!!!_**


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